Hakon pulled up to the curb to let Fern out. “Meet me at the hardware store when you’re done,” he said, pointing down the block. He’d decided it would be easiest if Fern set up an account with their bank so he could transfer money for household expenses to a card for her. Hall would be in charge of watching the account, but it would make it easier for her to do the household shopping.
On the outside, Goblin Gold looked like a mundane bank. Built of gray stone blocks, it rose two stories and had a red and gilt sign. The doors were ornate, solid steel, and there were no windows on the first floor.
Inside was well lit with skylights and soft LED. The floor was polished tile, the counters sleek and modern. There were comfortable chairs by a fish tank in a waiting area, plus a small kids space. Fern played on her phone as she waited in line to turn in her paperwork, slightly bored.
“This is a stickup! Hand over your money!”
Fern gasped and froze, her attention on the man waving a gun wildly in front of her. Was this a joke? This couldn’t be a real robbery!
“Sir, please, put the gun down,” the female goblin behind the Plexiglas barrier said calmly. She had blue gray skin and pointed ears with multiple piercings, her hair intricately braided away from her carefully made up face. Her eyes were bulging and orange.
“Listen, bitch!” The scruffy human robber, whose red eyes were probably due to narcotics, stuck the gun in the goblin’s face through the gap in the Plexiglas. “I said...ahh!” His sudden scream made Fern jump. Twin guillotines shot out of the sides of the gap, slicing off the man’s hand. Blood sprayed all over the bullet proof glass that dropped down to protect the teller. Still holding the gun, the hand fell through a hole in the counter. A window opened in the glass, showing the hand as it was vacuum packed and time stamped before being whisked away.
Someone puked.
Goblins in dark uniforms came and whisked the man away. He was crying and clutching his dripping arm. A blood trail followed him out.
The intercom came on. A soothing female voice announced, “Sorry for the disturbance, dear customers. Police are on their way. As you can see, your money is safe at Goblin Gold.”
A stooped janitor in a tan uniform showed up with a steam mop and cleaned the bloody floor. His expression was utterly bored.
While Fern was still gaping, an automated spray shot out and cleaned the blood off the counter with a robotic squeegee. Now clean, the barrier slid away.
The teller smiled at Fern, who was next in line, the customer in front of her having taken his squishy stomach to the bathroom. “I can help you,” the goblin said, friendly and understanding.
Fern gulped. She reached gingerly in her purse and pushed the papers over the counter, using just her fingertips to nudge them close to the teller. This close, she could see the dark slits in the counter where guillotines lurked.
“Thank you,” the woman said, distracting Fern from grisly contemplation. “I’ll need two forms of ID, please.”
***
Hakon took in Fern’ wide eyes and pale face. After hearing her story, he swore. “Sorry about that...but on the bright side, you can see why we prefer that bank. It’s very secure, and the banking app is easy to use.”
Fern stared at him.
“Right,” he said briskly, quickly completing his purchase. “Time to go home.”